MIKETRON BLOG

So a poll last week in the Sydney Morning Herald demonstrates that most people in NSW now think Schapelle Corby probably did try to smuggle drugs into Bali.

This is in contrast to the "public outrage" over her arrest and trial in 2005, not to mention the calls to boycott all tourism to Bali, the threats made toward Indonesians in Australia, and the widespread condemnation of the Indonesian Justice System as "primitive and corrupt".

We're certain that it had nothing to do with the Channel 9 documentary, Schappelle Corby: The Hidden Truth (about her eyebrows), which aired last week.
Australian's couldn't possibly be swayed on such passionate, heartfelt issues simply by watching a comedic tabloid "infomentary". Of course they couldn't.

Now that there's an overwhelming will to let Schapelle rot in a Third World Prison, we're certain that Australians everywhere will now start pushing for formal apologies to the Indonesian Government and Justice System, and that a conscious effort will be made to increase Bali's tourism on our part…
And of course we've learnt the lesson to never let the tabloid press control our informed, intelligent opinions again.

Ray Martin for PM!

In some aspects of life, persistence is an admirable quality. Whether you're going for job interviews, starting a business or seeking the attentions of a potential lover, persistence can be a very rewarding personality trait.

In television comedy, however, just telling people that you're funny and hoodwinking a network into playing your show for a few years is not enough. You actually have to be funny or the public, stupid as they may be, will eventually see through your talentlessness.

Such is definitely the case for the lamest presenter on Australian Television, Rove McAnus, according to ratings numbers from last night's broadcast. Rove attracted a dwindling 834,000 viewers - less than half of his initial audience from earlier year - while GLADIATORS on Channel 7 (see Its-A-Knockout + anabolic steroids + cocaine) attracted 1.571 million.

Anyone who has actually watched GLADIATORS, let alone seen the ads for it knows that it is basically just muscle-men in tights who whack each other homo-erotically with big rubber phallic symbols. Unbelievably freaking lame, really.

But Rove is obviously twice as lame. The numbers prove it.

Shown above is Rove McAnus, the GLADIATORS and a malignant tumor that was removed from a man's testicle.
You decide which is funnier...

More blogs about Rove's Comedy Brilliance - Rove's Complicated Genius - Funnier Stuff Than Rove.

That's right folks. Just when you thought that we weren't importing enough damaging aspects of US popular culture, evangelical Jebus-loving millionaires have started stirring up "controversy" for publicity for their ever-hungry bank accounts. In the latest "episode" of the popular Jebus-based melodrama, pentecostal "pastor" Danny Nalliah of Catch-The-Fire ministries has blamed the Australian drought on "Sin", saying that if Australia turns back to religion (Christian, of course) then the rain will come in torrents.
Now, we HATE pointing out flaws in such brilliant, non fantastical arguments, but we here at the MIKETRON BLOG couldn't help but wonder what the hell happened in this country before white men arrived and the locals still hadn't heard of Jebus-the-All-Powerful - or even two thousand, one hundred years ago - before Jebus existed. Did it ever freaking rain here before that or did God just not know about the place yet because there were no con-men to make money in His name yet?
At any rate, now we definitely know that the drought was caused by our unrelenting sin, thanks to pastor Danny and his accountant mates (who have never sinned and only appear on our spiritual path as selfless helpers and advisers).
So how do we stop sinning, you ask? Well, easy. Just sign over at least 10% of your income and assets to Catch-the-Fire / Assemblies-of-God - C/O the brilliant, honest and convincing Danny Nalliah and it will start to rain directly above your house, stopping at the borders of the property so your sinful neighbours don't benefit at all from your kindness and Christianity. After all, that's what Jebus would do.

Shown above-right is the selfless, honest and totally non-corrupt Danny Nalliah... And to the left are a couple of fictional characters, one of which has made millions of dollars for countless corporations through the ignorant, blind faith of people who actually believe in it.

More blogs about Catch the Fire - Assemblies of God - People who know more than you about Jesus.

Our NickHole will make a court appearance at the trial of allegedly defamed paparazzo, Jamie Fawcett in Sydney today, leaving the Australian legal system in her immense debt for the rest of time. It almost didn't happen as the INCONCEIVABLY BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED star attempted to refuse the subpoena last week, stating that her valuable time was far too precious and important for something as inconsequential as a court case - she makes MOVIES for God's sake, and important ones too. How could legal process possibly take priority over shooting a Baz Luhrmann movie about Australia?

Graciously however, Nickhole eventually agreed to the court appearance (it was easier than changing the constitution, after all) and is expected to relay to the jury her harrowing tales of being pursued ruthlessly by the paparazzi all over the world - even in her home town of Sydney, where she now FEARS FOR HER LIFE just going to visit her parents or to the shops.

What did she ever do to deserve this day-to-day horror? (aside from earning hundreds of millions of dollars and opting to have her face on every magazine and television opportunity to publicise herself so as to earn further hundreds of millions of dollars).

Above is our NickHole just innocently going down the street and being rudely intercepted by the evil and villainous paparazzi who will not leave her alone (that's right, it's the paparazzi who are evil, not the geniuses who by magazines with their images printed in them).

Sigourney Weaver is just out of shot to the left in hot pursuit of our NickHole (did we mention she was LOVELY and TALENTED?)

More blogs about NickHole Kidman - Pure Natural Beauty - Natural Blondes.

In a CAPTIVATING televised debate between the two prime ministerial candidates last night, Australia was clearly the overall winner. The two party leaders spoke BRILLIANTLY, addressing each and every question that was put to them directly - never straying from the topic at hand - and not once avoiding issues or using 'political speak' to cover their inadequate answers.
Channel 9 broadcast the debate live with the controversial 'worm' as host of the program sparking all sorts of controversy and freedom-of-speech complaints from overweight, Lebanese fat kids who are dodgy construction workers.

During one of the host's patented suspenseful pauses, Mr Howard and Mr Rudd made accidental eye contact and by chance became locked in a rather surprising amorous eye-game. While this sent the ratings at home in the negative direction, the moment when Mr Howard pushed over his lectern and lovingly embraced his opponent and started passionately kissing him won viewers over in droves.

Shown above is the moment that will change politics forever in this country - and Ray the Worm at the bottom of the channel 9 screen.

More blogs about Kevin Rudd - John Howard - The Worm.