MIKETRON BLOG

According to the Liberal Party and the Australian Media, we've "learned" this week that Kevin Rudd is single handedly responsible for International, and therefore Australian, oil prices.

In several thoroughly researched and calmly delivered parliamentary debates, the charismatic and talented leader of the opposition, Sonic the Hedgehog, accused the Rudd regime of potentially raising petrol prices through their controversial FuelWatch program. And he wasn't disproportionately hysterical over the issue at all.

I mean, after 12 years in government, the Liberal party managed to do heaps of stuff to reduce oil prices... Like "liberating" East Timor so that we could further "liberate" their oil. Not to mention signing up for the War of Terror, which MASSIVELY REDUCED oil prices as well as ensured our future safety from terrorism for all eternity.

Thankfully the opposition and press are focusing on such MAJOR issues for the Rudd Government, rather than concentrating on actual policy mistakes or further encroachment on our civil liberties for example.

Shown above is the current World Oil Hierarchy, with Kevin Rudd sitting in the head fat-cat position at the top.

There have been mounting international protests around the world as a result of Rudd's selfishly raising the oil prices.

John Howard would never have done this...

More blogs about Oil Kingpins - Canberra - Kevin Rudd.

Its been nearly 18 months since America's favourite Australian, Steve Irwin, was maliciously assassinated by a vicious stingray. While plenty of left-leaning, commie-sucking environmentalists have labelled the event a "tragic accident", we all know what's REALLY going on.
After months of collecting incredibly reliable intelligence on the execution, we at the MIKETRON Blog can DEFINITELY say that all evidence points to an international stingray conspiracy funded by numerous aquatic extremist organisations.

It seems that an elusive extremist group called The Stingray Brotherhood were behind the attack, claiming it as a "victory against the Great Land Loving Satan and its abominable way of life." The group have left multiple postings on Middle-Eastern websites claiming responsibility for the Irwin Assassination, as well as threatening further attacks on celebrity-wildlife-experts and the civilian population at large.

We therefore announce the War on Stingrays.

The war will be long. The war will be hard. At times we will become weary and our goals will seem distant.
But the Stingray menace must not be allowed to dictate our way of life.
Our way of life, and in particular our swimming habits, are not open to negotiation.

Shown above was the first true advocate (and victim) of our War on Stingrays, Steve Irwin. To the right and below are a couple of extremist stingrays, hell-bent on destroying our way of life.

More blogs about The very REAL stingray threat - Steve "I'm just patting it" Irwin - Stingray Brotherhood.

An completely unforeseeable twist in the Australian climate has caused widespread flooding where two weeks ago there was a "hundred year drought". Now who could have seen THAT coming?

Ironically, the usually silent and complacent Australian farmers have been complaining about the weather and asking the government for subsidy packages to help them get through the extreme flooding... where as last month, they were complaining about the weather and asking for subsidies because of the extreme drought.

So while we're all searching for solutions to climate change and looking for ways to create sustainable industries that will be safely protected from extreme environmental changes, remember the Australian farmers. They came here from England 200 years ago and weren't going to let the fact that this was a different continent discourage them from employing the exact same cultivation techniques they used back in Britannia. Why would you change your ways just because the climate, soil, water and vegetation were completely different?

Shown above is Farmer Bill and his farm - in total drought last week (the "worst we've had in a hundred years"), and completely flooded this week (which has NEVER happened before). Now can't you see why we need to give him half of our taxes?

More blogs about Sustainable Industries - Australian Farmers - Milk and Honey.

John (F)W Howard has, yet again, single-handedly secured World Peace by signing a deal to sell uranium to India. While the Indians haven't signed the International Non-Proliferation treaty on nuclear weapons, Mr Howard has taken the Indian Prime Minister's word that they have no intention of creating weapons with Australian uranium... Instead, he told the PM, they would only be using it to achieve hotter curries. Even though India has been at war with Pakistan several times since it's neighbour's inception, our heroic, muscular leader is confident that there will be no future possibility of "Aussie fallout" blowing around the sub-continent - after all, a politician's word and integrity is what makes his reputation, as little Johnny well knows. Thankfully there were no "awkward moments" thanks to the Indian PM's good manners in not mentioning the lack of an Australian signature on the Kyoto Protocol...

Shown above: The Australian and Indian Prime Ministers meeting outside the Taj Mahal (which now has energy-saver light bulbs). Luckily Australia is the closest part of Earth to Uranus, the most abundant source of uranium in the universe.

More blogs about Intergalactic Uranium Mines - Indian Power Systems - Australian Carbon Neutrality.

Sometimes we really need Americans to tell us Aussies what to do: Vietnam, Iraq (twice), Afghanistan - they've all taught us valuable lessons about US superiority over the entire planet and their brilliance at helping us ignorant little Australians get ourselves into intelligent situations. So now, with the environment as a pressing issue (the Greenhouse Effect was discovered in 1829), thank the Lord that the Americans have come to save us once again! Starting with Al Gore (the chap who was elected by the majority in the US in 2000, but was too concerned with the environment to actually take office) whose crapumentary "An Inconvenient Truth" has apparently kick-started the whole environment movement again, moving all the way down to John Effing Butler who regularly take time to tell us (in a beautiful American accent) that we are all wrong and should be leading a lifestyle more akin to his own. So tomorrow they're organising a big concert, Live Earth, which will raise enough money to cure all of the World's ills and make mankind love one another for the rest of time - and John Effing Butler will be there to tell us what we're doing wrong (after being driven in a petrol-consuming car to a concert that will burn more power than Las Vegas so he can play his petrochemical-varnished guitar with his oil-based acrylic fingernails - but will offset all of this by planting a tree and being self-righteous). Luckily the concert for Princess Diana last week raised enough money to cure car crashes, so Live Earth only has to cure ALL the other problems on the planet. Lucky they've got hippies on the case!

Shown above is John Effing Butler, the completely self-justifiable hippy arse-wipe who can teach us a hell of a lot (if only we'll listen!) - and the Planet Earth, which should be bloody well grateful that there are Americans around to save it when it is too selfish to save itself.

More blogs about Hippy Self-Righteousness - American Superiority - Failed Presidential Candidates.