MIKETRON BLOG

So a poll last week in the Sydney Morning Herald demonstrates that most people in NSW now think Schapelle Corby probably did try to smuggle drugs into Bali.

This is in contrast to the "public outrage" over her arrest and trial in 2005, not to mention the calls to boycott all tourism to Bali, the threats made toward Indonesians in Australia, and the widespread condemnation of the Indonesian Justice System as "primitive and corrupt".

We're certain that it had nothing to do with the Channel 9 documentary, Schappelle Corby: The Hidden Truth (about her eyebrows), which aired last week.
Australian's couldn't possibly be swayed on such passionate, heartfelt issues simply by watching a comedic tabloid "infomentary". Of course they couldn't.

Now that there's an overwhelming will to let Schapelle rot in a Third World Prison, we're certain that Australians everywhere will now start pushing for formal apologies to the Indonesian Government and Justice System, and that a conscious effort will be made to increase Bali's tourism on our part…
And of course we've learnt the lesson to never let the tabloid press control our informed, intelligent opinions again.

Ray Martin for PM!

According to a report published by the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, self harm among young women is up by 51% and in young men by 27% for the years 2005-2006.
While you would think that suicide rates in youngsters would have gone up at the same time, it was actually declining in all of the study results.

So this pretty well proves that emo kids are:
a) multiplying like emotional rabbits.
b) DESPERATELY in need of attention (which their parents can't give them, man).
b) pussies.

It's obvious that something DESPERATELY needs to be done to help emotionally troubled, rich white teenagers living in the wealthiest parts of the First World. If somebody won't address this growing crisis soon, our teenager and young-adult population stands to suffer huge amounts of non-lethal, attention seeking injury.

Shown above are some of the incredibly complex, emotionally non-comprehensible Australian youth who just need our attention (but not the kind of attention you want to offer, because you can't understand where they're coming from, man).

How about you go outside and play, kids?

More blogs about Emos - Poor, Suffering Darlings - Legitimate Attention Seeking.

In an interview with Australian Musician magazine this week, Sarah Blasko talks about how unappreciated female singer/songwriters are compared to men of the same job title (Sarah won the Best Pop Release ARIA this year has been nominated for 4 ARIAs previously, but we wouldn't call that recognition).
Continuing to say "I think often they are lumped together. It's looked upon as a genre - female singer/songwriter...
Whereas I think it's not really indicative of the diversity of female writers."

And it (obviously) has nothing to do with the fact that they all sound exactly the same and publish near identical 'tortured' images of themselves all over their matching album covers either, Sarah.

Shown above is the LOVELY, BUXOM and TALENTED Sarah Blasko on the right - and on the left some of the things she has clearly ignored in life.

More blogs about Obese, Attractive Talent - Brilliant, Original, Indefinable Genre - Sarah Blasko.

Our NickHole will make a court appearance at the trial of allegedly defamed paparazzo, Jamie Fawcett in Sydney today, leaving the Australian legal system in her immense debt for the rest of time. It almost didn't happen as the INCONCEIVABLY BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED star attempted to refuse the subpoena last week, stating that her valuable time was far too precious and important for something as inconsequential as a court case - she makes MOVIES for God's sake, and important ones too. How could legal process possibly take priority over shooting a Baz Luhrmann movie about Australia?

Graciously however, Nickhole eventually agreed to the court appearance (it was easier than changing the constitution, after all) and is expected to relay to the jury her harrowing tales of being pursued ruthlessly by the paparazzi all over the world - even in her home town of Sydney, where she now FEARS FOR HER LIFE just going to visit her parents or to the shops.

What did she ever do to deserve this day-to-day horror? (aside from earning hundreds of millions of dollars and opting to have her face on every magazine and television opportunity to publicise herself so as to earn further hundreds of millions of dollars).

Above is our NickHole just innocently going down the street and being rudely intercepted by the evil and villainous paparazzi who will not leave her alone (that's right, it's the paparazzi who are evil, not the geniuses who by magazines with their images printed in them).

Sigourney Weaver is just out of shot to the left in hot pursuit of our NickHole (did we mention she was LOVELY and TALENTED?)

More blogs about NickHole Kidman - Pure Natural Beauty - Natural Blondes.

Once a year Australian's flock together to cover their collective gambling addiction - an addiction that costs society millions of dollars and countless marriages, but which also affords us a half-day off per year to drink with our work mates (who are REAL mates, by the way) and blow our hard earned pay checks on midgets abusing expensive, inbred animals.

And the winner is: Channel 9's Catriona Rowntree (they actually own her... body and 'soul')

Shown above is the athletic and genuine-sounding Rowntree, putting the pack through their paces without even breaking a sweat.

Gambling makes you stronger, smarter and more popular.

More blogs about Melbourne Cup - Racing Industry - Catriona Rowntree.