MIKETRON BLOG

According to the Liberal Party and the Australian Media, we've "learned" this week that Kevin Rudd is single handedly responsible for International, and therefore Australian, oil prices.

In several thoroughly researched and calmly delivered parliamentary debates, the charismatic and talented leader of the opposition, Sonic the Hedgehog, accused the Rudd regime of potentially raising petrol prices through their controversial FuelWatch program. And he wasn't disproportionately hysterical over the issue at all.

I mean, after 12 years in government, the Liberal party managed to do heaps of stuff to reduce oil prices... Like "liberating" East Timor so that we could further "liberate" their oil. Not to mention signing up for the War of Terror, which MASSIVELY REDUCED oil prices as well as ensured our future safety from terrorism for all eternity.

Thankfully the opposition and press are focusing on such MAJOR issues for the Rudd Government, rather than concentrating on actual policy mistakes or further encroachment on our civil liberties for example.

Shown above is the current World Oil Hierarchy, with Kevin Rudd sitting in the head fat-cat position at the top.

There have been mounting international protests around the world as a result of Rudd's selfishly raising the oil prices.

John Howard would never have done this...

More blogs about Oil Kingpins - Canberra - Kevin Rudd.

Well, sometimes there's news that just knocks us off our seats in cataclysmic shock.
And today it's because the alarmingly conservative numbers estimated by organisers for World Youth Day (week)- around 500,000 at first - appear to be unrealistic, with hotels in Sydney taking less than a fifth of the originally estimated bookings.

What's wrong with the world when 500,000 Catholics don't want to fly 20 hours on a plane to be ushered through a wire-fenced-city by Federal Police officers to see the pope on a giant TV at a racecourse?

Well, thankfully the Pope knows his market (and did in 1939, too) and so has announced that everyone who makes the effort to turn up on World Youth Day (week) will be given a free cherub to do with as they please.
And generally, they please a great deal.

Shown above is the pope and some of the "prizes" on offer.

If only Sydney had thought of this for the 2000 Olympics, we would have achieved expected numbers and wouldn't still be paying the bastard off!

More blogs about Catholics - World Youth Day (week) - Pope Benedict.

That's right folks. Just when you thought that we weren't importing enough damaging aspects of US popular culture, evangelical Jebus-loving millionaires have started stirring up "controversy" for publicity for their ever-hungry bank accounts. In the latest "episode" of the popular Jebus-based melodrama, pentecostal "pastor" Danny Nalliah of Catch-The-Fire ministries has blamed the Australian drought on "Sin", saying that if Australia turns back to religion (Christian, of course) then the rain will come in torrents.
Now, we HATE pointing out flaws in such brilliant, non fantastical arguments, but we here at the MIKETRON BLOG couldn't help but wonder what the hell happened in this country before white men arrived and the locals still hadn't heard of Jebus-the-All-Powerful - or even two thousand, one hundred years ago - before Jebus existed. Did it ever freaking rain here before that or did God just not know about the place yet because there were no con-men to make money in His name yet?
At any rate, now we definitely know that the drought was caused by our unrelenting sin, thanks to pastor Danny and his accountant mates (who have never sinned and only appear on our spiritual path as selfless helpers and advisers).
So how do we stop sinning, you ask? Well, easy. Just sign over at least 10% of your income and assets to Catch-the-Fire / Assemblies-of-God - C/O the brilliant, honest and convincing Danny Nalliah and it will start to rain directly above your house, stopping at the borders of the property so your sinful neighbours don't benefit at all from your kindness and Christianity. After all, that's what Jebus would do.

Shown above-right is the selfless, honest and totally non-corrupt Danny Nalliah... And to the left are a couple of fictional characters, one of which has made millions of dollars for countless corporations through the ignorant, blind faith of people who actually believe in it.

More blogs about Catch the Fire - Assemblies of God - People who know more than you about Jesus.

In a CAPTIVATING televised debate between the two prime ministerial candidates last night, Australia was clearly the overall winner. The two party leaders spoke BRILLIANTLY, addressing each and every question that was put to them directly - never straying from the topic at hand - and not once avoiding issues or using 'political speak' to cover their inadequate answers.
Channel 9 broadcast the debate live with the controversial 'worm' as host of the program sparking all sorts of controversy and freedom-of-speech complaints from overweight, Lebanese fat kids who are dodgy construction workers.

During one of the host's patented suspenseful pauses, Mr Howard and Mr Rudd made accidental eye contact and by chance became locked in a rather surprising amorous eye-game. While this sent the ratings at home in the negative direction, the moment when Mr Howard pushed over his lectern and lovingly embraced his opponent and started passionately kissing him won viewers over in droves.

Shown above is the moment that will change politics forever in this country - and Ray the Worm at the bottom of the channel 9 screen.

More blogs about Kevin Rudd - John Howard - The Worm.

The latest data released from the Australian 2006 Census shows that while 1.7% of the population are Muslims, a whopping 2.1% consider themselves Buddhists. It's statistics like these that make us aware of just how lacking our border security policy has become - while we've been scrambling wildly trying to persecute Muslims for imaginary crimes, those sneaky little orange-robe-wearing Buddhists have been creeping in the back door; and obviously to steal our jobs, women and democracy. Clandestine Buddhist operations have been orchestrated all over south-east Asia for several decades - we even had their vicious, war-mongering leader, the Dalai Llama, visit our precious country last week! Unfortunately the Census statistics had not been released at that stage so we let the terrorist criminal slip through our fingers... But no more!

Shown above are the hordes of orange-robed queue-jumpers pushing into line at the immigration office, and below them what could happen if we let too many of these people into our loving, Christian nation.

More blogs about Buddhist Invasion - Terrorism through Non-Violence - Census Results.