MIKETRON BLOG

According to the Liberal Party and the Australian Media, we've "learned" this week that Kevin Rudd is single handedly responsible for International, and therefore Australian, oil prices.

In several thoroughly researched and calmly delivered parliamentary debates, the charismatic and talented leader of the opposition, Sonic the Hedgehog, accused the Rudd regime of potentially raising petrol prices through their controversial FuelWatch program. And he wasn't disproportionately hysterical over the issue at all.

I mean, after 12 years in government, the Liberal party managed to do heaps of stuff to reduce oil prices... Like "liberating" East Timor so that we could further "liberate" their oil. Not to mention signing up for the War of Terror, which MASSIVELY REDUCED oil prices as well as ensured our future safety from terrorism for all eternity.

Thankfully the opposition and press are focusing on such MAJOR issues for the Rudd Government, rather than concentrating on actual policy mistakes or further encroachment on our civil liberties for example.

Shown above is the current World Oil Hierarchy, with Kevin Rudd sitting in the head fat-cat position at the top.

There have been mounting international protests around the world as a result of Rudd's selfishly raising the oil prices.

John Howard would never have done this...

More blogs about Oil Kingpins - Canberra - Kevin Rudd.

Back in World War I, Australia had a fairly new sense of nationhood and independence from colonialism. Still unsure of ourselves as our own entity, we were inclined to follow Great Brittain into anything due to our feelings of obligation to our mother country. It was this sycophantic, lap-dog like behaviour which caused us to sacrifice thousands of young Australians in the battle of Gallipoli and in other theatres of the First World War. Thankfully, the yearly remembrance day we hold on the 25th of April stays as a reminder that we won't foolishly follow someone into a battle we can't possibly win in the Middle East ever again. Not ever. We're smarter than that...

Pictured at the top are the poor fools who followed Lord Kitchener's orders by entering the meat-grinder of Gallipoli - and below are our modern troops who go into Iraq knowing there is a just cause with a well developed strategy behind it. Australians don't make the same mistakes twice (not in World War II, not in Korea, not in Vietnam).

Enjoy your Holiday!

More blogs about Anzac Legend - Ridiculous Traditions - Lessons Learnt.

No one ever said defending the country against terrorists who lend their brothers sim-cards would be cheap. And today it was proven when the effective and competent AFP Commissioner Mick Keelty announced that so far more than $7.5 million bananas have been blown on the case. Sorry, not BLOWN, we meant to say UTILISED.

Since the fuzz couldn't get a conviction even after doctoring evidence, lying in court and having the former Prime Minister lend his assumption of guilt to the matter... Imagine the costs of ACTUALLY CONVICTING a real terrorist. Well, thankfully we here at the MIKETRON Blog have already done some quick calculations for you, so you don't have to.

If we use 7.5 million as a base number, along with, say, the population of India this month (1,129,057,004 - wikipedia), then it will work out to only cost Australians about $8,467,927,530,000,000 - that's 8 quadrillion, four hundred and sixty seven trillion, nine hundred and twenty seven billion, five hundred and thirty million Australian dollars to investigate them all. A pittance, really when compared to the feeling of security we would gain from knowing more than a billion brown people were being unjustly investigated for ambiguous crimes outside our country.

Shown above-left is the almost guilty Mohamed Haneef. On the right are millions of other Indians we haven't even started spending money on yet. Just wait until they start lending sim-cards to their relatives!

More blogs about Terror in Australia - Police Funding - Educated Populations.

In Australia each year, around 30,000 school leavers take a year off to work or travel before entering university or their chosen career path. Thankfully, our nations most esteemed oligarch, John W Howard has come up with a dynamic, intelligent plan to combat this ridiculously wasted time: Joining the ADF for "a year"! Why on Earth would any young Australian school leaver want to throw away an entire year learning about other cultures or earning money when they could be dodging bullets and roadside bombs as well as helping to steal Australia's future energy supply and murdering Iraqi children?
"The gap year program provides a great opportunity for 17- to 24-year-olds to do something very worthwhile for their country while gaining new skills at the same time," Mr W Howard said today, though (somehow) failed to add that his own children have already finished their studies and would not, unfortunately, be eligible for the program. Luckily one of his sons has already secured a steady job with the Bush regime in the US, so while not able to directly kill any Iraqis, Howard's kids are still playing their part.

Shown above is the disappointed family of the Prime Minister, morning their lost military opportunity, a happy Australian school leaver who has managed to survive cleaning his gun in Iraq, and below the evil scourge that is Iraq's youth, rudely sticking their fingers up at coalition troops behind them (not pictured).

More blogs about Australian Oil Interests - Military Schoolies Week - John Howard's Military Children.

Politics is not like television at all. On television, if you tell the same jokes or repeat the same story too many times, people stop watching due to unoriginality. Luckily for John W Howard, immortal leader of the nation, it doesn't matter how many times you pull the same trick in a federal election. Thus just a week after announcing the new "management" campaign for remote Aboriginal communities (i.e. White people are in charge again! Now hand over your kids for re-education!), he's announced the results of "Government funded research" and, astonishingly, they prove that we're not paranoid enough about members of other races. The report says that "up to 3000 young Muslims in Sydney alone" are likely targets for "radicalised Islam", making Australia the place where "there are more young Muslims per capita who are vulnerable to the influence of radical Islam than in any other western country." Scared yet? If not, find a Muslim youth and point your finger at them - if possible gather a crowd around you also pointing fingers - once the finger is squarely pointed, call A Current Affair. If the Muslim tries to get away or defend themselves, yell "Al-Quaeda" three times at the top of your voice and keep pointing.

Shown above is our God-like Emperor, John W Howard putting out a completely well-researched cautionary message - and on the right you can see the sheer panic that ensues when a Muslim tries to perform a household chore (we don't know what exactly she's got in that basket, but it's probably terror).

More blogs about Imaginary Terrorism - Fear Governance - Racism in Elections.