MIKETRON BLOG

According to a report published by the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, self harm among young women is up by 51% and in young men by 27% for the years 2005-2006.
While you would think that suicide rates in youngsters would have gone up at the same time, it was actually declining in all of the study results.

So this pretty well proves that emo kids are:
a) multiplying like emotional rabbits.
b) DESPERATELY in need of attention (which their parents can't give them, man).
b) pussies.

It's obvious that something DESPERATELY needs to be done to help emotionally troubled, rich white teenagers living in the wealthiest parts of the First World. If somebody won't address this growing crisis soon, our teenager and young-adult population stands to suffer huge amounts of non-lethal, attention seeking injury.

Shown above are some of the incredibly complex, emotionally non-comprehensible Australian youth who just need our attention (but not the kind of attention you want to offer, because you can't understand where they're coming from, man).

How about you go outside and play, kids?

More blogs about Emos - Poor, Suffering Darlings - Legitimate Attention Seeking.

According to the Liberal Party and the Australian Media, we've "learned" this week that Kevin Rudd is single handedly responsible for International, and therefore Australian, oil prices.

In several thoroughly researched and calmly delivered parliamentary debates, the charismatic and talented leader of the opposition, Sonic the Hedgehog, accused the Rudd regime of potentially raising petrol prices through their controversial FuelWatch program. And he wasn't disproportionately hysterical over the issue at all.

I mean, after 12 years in government, the Liberal party managed to do heaps of stuff to reduce oil prices... Like "liberating" East Timor so that we could further "liberate" their oil. Not to mention signing up for the War of Terror, which MASSIVELY REDUCED oil prices as well as ensured our future safety from terrorism for all eternity.

Thankfully the opposition and press are focusing on such MAJOR issues for the Rudd Government, rather than concentrating on actual policy mistakes or further encroachment on our civil liberties for example.

Shown above is the current World Oil Hierarchy, with Kevin Rudd sitting in the head fat-cat position at the top.

There have been mounting international protests around the world as a result of Rudd's selfishly raising the oil prices.

John Howard would never have done this...

More blogs about Oil Kingpins - Canberra - Kevin Rudd.

As John W Howard always tried to make clear to us, selling off public utilities to increase "competition" is a well thought-out, sustainable financial strategy. Once everything is sold and the "competition" really gets going, then all the companies eventually merge together into a monopoly single-competitive-entity which has no competition and therefore charges whatever it likes without fear of losing customers.

And so today Westpac and St George have announced their merger, benefiting mum-and-dad-investor share prices massively.
They would be the same mum-and-dad-investors who have borrowed money from said banks in order to invest in property and bank shares. You see the logic? If you don't you obviously need a self-help course on financial management (Westpac offer unbiased advice here).

This well-thought-out merger will guarantee mum-and-dad-investor share prices well into the future, with annually increasing profits going straight to the average family income (which will then be used to pay the mortgage and bank fees).

Shown above are some of the forward-thinking mum-and-dad-investors who really genuinely care about all bank customers and the future their child will grow up in. They're not just trying to greedily make a buck for themselves while they can or anything like that at all...

More blogs about Caring, Sharing, Community Organisations - Fair Distribution of Wealth - Australian Banks.

There's sure has been a lot of talk in recent months about Japanese "Scientists" catching whales in Australian and South Pacific waters. Greenpeace are down there, the World Wildlife Fund's down there, even the Australian Government's stationery is down there, so the situation is clearly serious.

But while everyone else has been foolishly concentrating on what the Japs are doing to our beloved whales, our HIGHLY QUALIFIED scientists in the MIKETRON Blog Labs (next door to the Ponds Institute) have been concentrating on ways we could "scientifically experiment" with Japanese Macaque monkeys.

Famous for being the most northerly occurring primate (except humans) and for spending time in natural hot-spring baths, the Japanese Macaques are, like our whales, responsible for quite a large share of Northern Japan's tourism economy. People come from far and wide to see the Macaques laying around in the natural baths, eating fruit off their bellies.

Thanks to the hardworking scientists in the MIKETRON Blog Labs, we now know that Japanese Macaques are also a delicious, low-fat alternative to Kangaroo... and due to their lazy life-style, very easy to catch.
We figure that if we start sending "scientific research" buses to the mountainous areas of Honshu in Japan's north they can start bringing back "experiment specimens" in commercial quantities immediately.

Shown above are some of the delicious recipes we "discovered" during some of our "experiments".

We'd like to say a special THANKYOU to the Japanese Scientists who made all this possible by helping us realise the advantages of the Scientific Culinary Arts.

More blogs about Japanese Science - Experiments in Whaling - Delicious Whale Dishes.

In yet another demonstration of their infallible integrity, the NSW Police force have this week pushed for the Director of Public Prosecutions to review the process of plea-bargaining in the judicial process. Tying blue ribbons to their car antennas and speed cameras to remind everyone that a policeman was shot last year and they weren't happy with the reduced charges of manslaughter for the perpetrators, the scum force will convene in stations across the state this week to unfairly influence make recommendations on the way they think the system should work.
Police Association president, Bob Pritchard was quick to say that the pieces of shit department was doing this for all victims in all cases, not just the 2002 shooting of Officer Glenn McEnallay which is the reason they started with the whole "blue ribbon" deal. And fair enough. We at the MIKETRON BLOG think it's totally justified to have MASSIVELY INCREASED sentences for anyone who does anything to a cop - while a police officer who commits a crime or abuses the position of trust they've OPTED FOR should only ever face a fraction of the sentence reserved for ordinary criminals.
We also think it's a great indicator of the integrity, honesty and objectivity of the smooth-functioning force that a given case should be passionately taken personally by every member of the NSW Police. It's not as though they choose to enter the force and wear a gun on their hip, knowing they'll be doing such great and necessary work as APEC and Catholic Youth Week security.

Shown above are some of the hard-done-by, honest cops who are just out there trying to earn stress leave make the world a better place and receiving absolutely no thanks (except for the $50,000 of taxpayer's money for their first year, increasing later).
*Roger Rogerson is actually retired.

More blogs about NSW Police - Positions of Power - Integrity, Honesty & Reliability.