MIKETRON BLOG

According to the Liberal Party and the Australian Media, we've "learned" this week that Kevin Rudd is single handedly responsible for International, and therefore Australian, oil prices.

In several thoroughly researched and calmly delivered parliamentary debates, the charismatic and talented leader of the opposition, Sonic the Hedgehog, accused the Rudd regime of potentially raising petrol prices through their controversial FuelWatch program. And he wasn't disproportionately hysterical over the issue at all.

I mean, after 12 years in government, the Liberal party managed to do heaps of stuff to reduce oil prices... Like "liberating" East Timor so that we could further "liberate" their oil. Not to mention signing up for the War of Terror, which MASSIVELY REDUCED oil prices as well as ensured our future safety from terrorism for all eternity.

Thankfully the opposition and press are focusing on such MAJOR issues for the Rudd Government, rather than concentrating on actual policy mistakes or further encroachment on our civil liberties for example.

Shown above is the current World Oil Hierarchy, with Kevin Rudd sitting in the head fat-cat position at the top.

There have been mounting international protests around the world as a result of Rudd's selfishly raising the oil prices.

John Howard would never have done this...

More blogs about Oil Kingpins - Canberra - Kevin Rudd.

For about as long as there have been cops on the roads in Australia there have been 'unconfirmed' rumours circulating that arrest quotas exist within the police force. Once again the argument has come up in Queensland (the lone star state), where the commissioner has launched an inquiry after officers were allegedly found to be faking RBT tests in order to make up imposed quotas - a fact, once again, emphatically denied by the police force.
Of course we all believe them... I mean, who ever heard of a corrupt cop? But just hypothetically for a moment suppose there were imposed quotas for RBTs, why they only have them on drink driving operations? Now we're getting EXTREMELY hypothetical here, but just IMAGINE that they were dodging up other much-debated misdemeanours as speed radar data and drug possession... But that couldn't happen in this country, thankfully because we have democracy and Jebus on our side.

Pictured above: some of the boys in true blue who we whole-heartedly trust - more than politicians even - along with some of their faultless, expertly operated equipment.
*officer's faces have been altered because their quotas of website appearances have been reached.

More blogs about Honest, Hardworking Cops - Fair & Just Law Enforcement - Queensland.

After last week's completely unpredictable media-scandal over Shane Warne and his wife's short message shenanigans, you'd think the poor guy would be left alone to repair his digital relationship(s). But no! The money-hungry vultures at Telstra have today announced that they cut Warne's phone off this morning due to non-payment of bills, leaving the SMS superstar in a metaphorical communications & poon-tang desert.
While Warney has survived numerous hardships throughout his life and career (peer pressure, male-pattern baldness, etc), experts are predicting that without the power of SMS at his disposal - his only method of communication with females - he may have to turn gay just to find an outlet for his immense, uncontrollable sexual tyranny. Fans have been quick to defend Warne's brilliance and erotic dynamism, with one telling us "we believe Warney can find ways to talk to chicks without a mobile network, we all support him now in his time of need."

Shown above-right is the $21,000 phone bill in question, above-left is Warney trying to convince his equipment that it will be OK and below is Warney's communications & poon-tang desert.

More blogs about World SMS Champion - Team Loyalty - Healthy Pastimes.

The toughest Australian in the entire Universe, Rusty 'Telecom Ninja' Crowe, alongside other Rabbitohs co-owner Peter 'Whattup' Homes a Court, has requested that South Sydney Leagues Club open next year without poker machines. While the pair say they're not trying to impose their view on people, being all-round Aussie nice guys they believe that the 160 pokies in the club are 'not right' for the area. Homes a Court gave the following quote to Southern Cross radio:
"What we are saying is it's better business. Frankly, not a lot of my friends want to go out and have a cold beer and watch someone go past who has just seen their last dollar go into a machine. That beer tastes a bit bitter; that's not a good night out."
Ooohhh. What a great pair of blokes. Now that the evil pokies-that-destroy-families will be gone, the 'patrons' can finally enjoy a nice quiet gamble at the in-house TAB while they watch sports-betting statistics on the 367,000 giant television sets placed all around the club.

Shown above is the ultra-relaxed, pokie-free environment of Rusty's proposed South Sydney Leagues the horrendous social problems associated with gambling and alcoholism will no longer hold sway. And below, is Rusty himself, speaking on his favourite weapon and spreading Christian good-will around the world.
The decision goes before the board next week, but who really cares about the outcome… the incident has served it’s purpose in bringing us greater understanding and respect for Australia’s greatest singer and musician.

More blogs about A Real Gladiator - Thirty Odd Foot of Talent - Healthy Pastimes.

John (F)W Howard has, yet again, single-handedly secured World Peace by signing a deal to sell uranium to India. While the Indians haven't signed the International Non-Proliferation treaty on nuclear weapons, Mr Howard has taken the Indian Prime Minister's word that they have no intention of creating weapons with Australian uranium... Instead, he told the PM, they would only be using it to achieve hotter curries. Even though India has been at war with Pakistan several times since it's neighbour's inception, our heroic, muscular leader is confident that there will be no future possibility of "Aussie fallout" blowing around the sub-continent - after all, a politician's word and integrity is what makes his reputation, as little Johnny well knows. Thankfully there were no "awkward moments" thanks to the Indian PM's good manners in not mentioning the lack of an Australian signature on the Kyoto Protocol...

Shown above: The Australian and Indian Prime Ministers meeting outside the Taj Mahal (which now has energy-saver light bulbs). Luckily Australia is the closest part of Earth to Uranus, the most abundant source of uranium in the universe.

More blogs about Intergalactic Uranium Mines - Indian Power Systems - Australian Carbon Neutrality.