MIKETRON BLOG

According to a report published by the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, self harm among young women is up by 51% and in young men by 27% for the years 2005-2006.
While you would think that suicide rates in youngsters would have gone up at the same time, it was actually declining in all of the study results.

So this pretty well proves that emo kids are:
a) multiplying like emotional rabbits.
b) DESPERATELY in need of attention (which their parents can't give them, man).
b) pussies.

It's obvious that something DESPERATELY needs to be done to help emotionally troubled, rich white teenagers living in the wealthiest parts of the First World. If somebody won't address this growing crisis soon, our teenager and young-adult population stands to suffer huge amounts of non-lethal, attention seeking injury.

Shown above are some of the incredibly complex, emotionally non-comprehensible Australian youth who just need our attention (but not the kind of attention you want to offer, because you can't understand where they're coming from, man).

How about you go outside and play, kids?

More blogs about Emos - Poor, Suffering Darlings - Legitimate Attention Seeking.

Although you wouldn't think people who consider themselves environmentally friendly would be connected to the internet, they certainly are making an online difference to the entire planet as well as the all-important spirituality of the World Wide Web. People who had integrity and self-respect would obviously find it hypocritical to be using computers made from petrochemicals & heavy metals, powered by coal-fired power stations and disposed of in giant Chinese waste-piles - but not JBT fans. They have enough self-righteousness to outweigh any kind of logic familiar to anyone who is not a parasitic hippy.
Those readers not familiar with hippies in Australia need only travel to Sydney's North Shore or any other affluent part of suburban Australia to find their hatching grounds among the giant, fuel-guzzling 4WDs and tax-dodging private schools. Its just this kind of environment that breeds completely believable concern for the planet and love for one's fellow man... at least until after university finishes(which is when the job offers and six figure salaries make it difficult to wear dread-locks and patchouli).
Thankfully, up until they turn into their parents these IMPORTANT members of society are given the facility to share their highly constructive and self-deprecating opinions through the (immense) power of blog comments - thus changing the entire World population into peace-loving environmental activists.

Shown above is a typical John Butler fan dressed up in the latest chemical-dyed-nylon fashions - and in the middle, her parents who typically have to earn enough to pay for children like theirs to live "free" and "sharing" lives. On the right is the man who makes more jokes about himself than anyone in Australia, Mr John "Big Business" Butler.

*Try laughing at yourselves, hippies. Everyone else can do it...

More blogs about Strong, convincing arguments - The goals of JBT fans - John Butler.

In an interview with Australian Musician magazine this week, Sarah Blasko talks about how unappreciated female singer/songwriters are compared to men of the same job title (Sarah won the Best Pop Release ARIA this year has been nominated for 4 ARIAs previously, but we wouldn't call that recognition).
Continuing to say "I think often they are lumped together. It's looked upon as a genre - female singer/songwriter...
Whereas I think it's not really indicative of the diversity of female writers."

And it (obviously) has nothing to do with the fact that they all sound exactly the same and publish near identical 'tortured' images of themselves all over their matching album covers either, Sarah.

Shown above is the LOVELY, BUXOM and TALENTED Sarah Blasko on the right - and on the left some of the things she has clearly ignored in life.

More blogs about Obese, Attractive Talent - Brilliant, Original, Indefinable Genre - Sarah Blasko.

It's 10 years ago next month that Jim Morrison impersonator and INXS frontman, Michael "I'm only wanking" Hutchence punched the ultimate notch in his belt. Fans of Jim Morrison have been queuing up in stores to buy the 'Anniversary Belt' that will be available in all good clothing and sex shops in time for the memorial service.
While he will always be remembered as the best Jim Morrison ever, people all-to-easily forget that he was also a fantastic, selfless father, a genius with finance and a BRILLIANT actor - appearing in ludicrously popular titles like Frankenstein Unbound (the highest grossing film ever, in the universe).

Shown above is Hutch at his final belt sale.
There'll be a memorial concert for him next week where the organisers hope to raise enough money to wipe out Auto Erotic Asphyxiation in the first-world music industry for good.

More blogs about Jim Morrison - INXS - Healthy Pastimes.

Earlier in the week during an interview on "youth radio network" Triple J (see high-repetition emo music), lead singer of Silverchair, Daniel Johns, told the audience how he and his alleged wife, Natalie Imbruglia smoked pot with Peter Garrett and B-O-N-O from U2 in the latter's Sydney hotel room. Apparently Boner and Mr Garrett are both quite anti-drugs and have each denied the allegation which led Johns to retract his statement saying that he thought audiences would know he was joking. Daniel, when you wear the clothes you do and say the kind of crap you do on a daily basis, it's very hard to tell when you're joking. And the fact that as far back as your 1997 Luna Park concert your on stage "camel-jaw" was already giving the game away in the most obvious possible fashion (it actually synchronises to the beat of the music at some points!) means that everyone everywhere will be REALLY SHOCKED that you take drugs. You're always such a healthy looking guy. And not to mention your lovely and apparently human wife who always looks her salon-best and not the least bit undernourished. As for BONE-O, why would anyone that took drugs wear red glasses everywhere they go without ever removing them? Absolutely preposterous. No one in the music industry - including Labor's best front-bench dancer - would ever take drugs or be influenced by their peers to do so.

Shown above clockwise: Daniel Johns thinking before he speaks - B.O.N.O accepting an award for tinted optometry - Peter "Long-Term-Integrity" Garrett getting the crowd going at a Labor rally - and a well-rested and overfed Natalie Imbruglia showing why she was awarded a makeup contract with her beauty.

More blogs about Junkies - Celebrity Sobriety - Society's Downfall.