MIKETRON BLOG

There's sure has been a lot of talk in recent months about Japanese "Scientists" catching whales in Australian and South Pacific waters. Greenpeace are down there, the World Wildlife Fund's down there, even the Australian Government's stationery is down there, so the situation is clearly serious.

But while everyone else has been foolishly concentrating on what the Japs are doing to our beloved whales, our HIGHLY QUALIFIED scientists in the MIKETRON Blog Labs (next door to the Ponds Institute) have been concentrating on ways we could "scientifically experiment" with Japanese Macaque monkeys.

Famous for being the most northerly occurring primate (except humans) and for spending time in natural hot-spring baths, the Japanese Macaques are, like our whales, responsible for quite a large share of Northern Japan's tourism economy. People come from far and wide to see the Macaques laying around in the natural baths, eating fruit off their bellies.

Thanks to the hardworking scientists in the MIKETRON Blog Labs, we now know that Japanese Macaques are also a delicious, low-fat alternative to Kangaroo... and due to their lazy life-style, very easy to catch.
We figure that if we start sending "scientific research" buses to the mountainous areas of Honshu in Japan's north they can start bringing back "experiment specimens" in commercial quantities immediately.

Shown above are some of the delicious recipes we "discovered" during some of our "experiments".

We'd like to say a special THANKYOU to the Japanese Scientists who made all this possible by helping us realise the advantages of the Scientific Culinary Arts.

More blogs about Japanese Science - Experiments in Whaling - Delicious Whale Dishes.

No one ever said defending the country against terrorists who lend their brothers sim-cards would be cheap. And today it was proven when the effective and competent AFP Commissioner Mick Keelty announced that so far more than $7.5 million bananas have been blown on the case. Sorry, not BLOWN, we meant to say UTILISED.

Since the fuzz couldn't get a conviction even after doctoring evidence, lying in court and having the former Prime Minister lend his assumption of guilt to the matter... Imagine the costs of ACTUALLY CONVICTING a real terrorist. Well, thankfully we here at the MIKETRON Blog have already done some quick calculations for you, so you don't have to.

If we use 7.5 million as a base number, along with, say, the population of India this month (1,129,057,004 - wikipedia), then it will work out to only cost Australians about $8,467,927,530,000,000 - that's 8 quadrillion, four hundred and sixty seven trillion, nine hundred and twenty seven billion, five hundred and thirty million Australian dollars to investigate them all. A pittance, really when compared to the feeling of security we would gain from knowing more than a billion brown people were being unjustly investigated for ambiguous crimes outside our country.

Shown above-left is the almost guilty Mohamed Haneef. On the right are millions of other Indians we haven't even started spending money on yet. Just wait until they start lending sim-cards to their relatives!

More blogs about Terror in Australia - Police Funding - Educated Populations.

An completely unforeseeable twist in the Australian climate has caused widespread flooding where two weeks ago there was a "hundred year drought". Now who could have seen THAT coming?

Ironically, the usually silent and complacent Australian farmers have been complaining about the weather and asking the government for subsidy packages to help them get through the extreme flooding... where as last month, they were complaining about the weather and asking for subsidies because of the extreme drought.

So while we're all searching for solutions to climate change and looking for ways to create sustainable industries that will be safely protected from extreme environmental changes, remember the Australian farmers. They came here from England 200 years ago and weren't going to let the fact that this was a different continent discourage them from employing the exact same cultivation techniques they used back in Britannia. Why would you change your ways just because the climate, soil, water and vegetation were completely different?

Shown above is Farmer Bill and his farm - in total drought last week (the "worst we've had in a hundred years"), and completely flooded this week (which has NEVER happened before). Now can't you see why we need to give him half of our taxes?

More blogs about Sustainable Industries - Australian Farmers - Milk and Honey.